Bullet Point Friend

Law Girl is a attorney in Los Angeles, 50’s but the body of a 25 year old with a mind and wit that leaves her younger doppelgangers scratching their heads long after she’s moved on to the next challenge.  We met in San Francisco, me an undergrad at Cal, she a retread student at Stanford Law  after an unsatisfying career in finance. Our paths crossed  while suffering through a battery of tests to qualify as a volunteer at an AIDS hospice. Yes, tests – psychological tests. This particular hospice had an eastern philosophy about end-life care and volunteers had to be screened to determine if they would “survive” in the environment. As you may know, people in end-life develop quirky behavior, namely,  whatever irritating personality traits they developed in their lives becoming alarmingly amplified. The philosophy was to be able to identify but not emotionally respond to anything other than physical needs. Tougher than it sounds, Law Girl and I were the lone candidates out of a group of 100.

When we were brought in for our “training” we both looked at each other with WTF eyes, as if we were no longer certain we wanted this on our resumes. We “survived” a whole year, the maximum allowed by the hospice and really, it was a huge learning experience,  more so than my undergrad at Cal.

Since, we’ve had a long distance friendship with the occasional in-person visits but those are challenging; shes busy, I’m busy, life occurs. However infrequent, I can always rely on Law Girl to give a summarized, bullet point list of what has happened in her life.

This was the case when she filed for divorce some years ago. No hysterical phone call, no solicitation of advice, no crying, no mean-spirited revenge plots. Just an ex post facto email

  • New home – Willshire Blvd, lovely
  • Kid – Graduated HS – UCLA in fall, proud
  • New car – Hippie chick hybrid, shut it.
  • Divorced – cheated, caught, served and processed.

Right, of course I called – “About the last bullet point,  elaborate”. She did but it was in lawyer speak and devoid of any emotion; it was clear, she had processed and she had moved on. PERIOD. Good on her. Since, she has remarried, a nice guy 16 years her junior who “puppied” her around after giving a series of lectures at his university. At least shes sticking to that story, so is he.  He is also a lawyer, at a different firm, in a different area of law. Her son graduated UCLA then went to law school. This is seriously a family you don’t want on your bad side unless you can afford a hefty retainer fee.

I rather admire and appreciate Law Girl’s communication style. I realize its somewhat of an occupational hazard for her but I’m constantly saturated with information on all fronts, so her important life strokes summarized and distributed in low frequency work for me. I also like her youthful and often snarky tone, a testimony that while you may be obliged to act age-appropriate at work,  you can be young at heart otherwise.

I got another bullet point update this month.

  • Anniversary – Istanbul, loved it
  • Kid  – Lawyer now, hopeful
  • Breast cancer – Treated, new boobs
  • New car – SUV, bigger boobs = bigger car

Right, about that third bullet point,  apparently its time for our annual phone call.


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